Olympic minority

In view of the burgeoning popularity of such things as horse dancing, the governing bodies of several minority sports are apparently in negotiation with the authorities over possible inclusion in the Rio games.

Amongst these are the usual promoters of such activities as egg and spoon racing and apple-bobbing, which, as in previous years, are being rejected as being too juvenile. However, very good cases are being forwarded by the National Synchronised Darts Association and the British Hide and Seek Society.

This latter body envisages a course not unlike that seen at the show jumping events with a series of themed hidey holes. One team is blindfolded during a countdown while the others secrete themselves. Marks are scored on how quickly they are found. Spectators can join in by shouting warmer, colder and so on.

Chasing is another sport that has hitherto been ignored. It is a game played by young people all over the world and yet it has never featured in international sporting events. All this is about to change with the formation of the World Society for the Promotion of Chasing (WSPC) who are working hard to get their sport recognised.

Many people have commented that in former times art was featured as an activity worthy of Olympians. The Painting by Numbers Society has proposed that this should be revived. They point out that , similar to diving or rhythmic gymnastics, painting by numbers has a very rigid set of rules (i.e. the numbers must correspond to the colours provided) but within those rules there is ample scope for artistic expression (stippling, pointillism etc).

Train spotting has also been mentioned. You may find this ludicrous, but arming contestants with a pencil, a set of numbers and a bobble hat is no sillier than some of the baffling Velodrome events seen recently

Of course there will always be hoaxers promoting such things as Mornington Crescent, which everyone knows is a spoof panel game from the radio show I’m Sorry I Haven’t a Clue, but in another development inspired by that programme, it has been proposed that the new national anthem should be I Vow to You My Country sung to the tune of Ferry Cross the Mersey.

I’d certainly vote for that.

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