Category Archives: Column

Eric the Goldfish

In the deeds of my apartment block there is a strictly no pets clause.  Although I was secretly pleased to find myself moving into a dog-free environment, it did rather scupper my fantasy of sitting on my riverside balcony teaching … Continue reading

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Christmas Music

One of the best things about New Year is at last we have some respite from ghastly Christmas music. At least, until next October when it all starts again! Now, I’m not religious, but neither am I a humbugging Scrooge … Continue reading

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New Year Low Jinks

I look forward to the new year, but I’m not a fan of New Year, if you get my gist. I knew a bloke who used to say ‘I hate New Year’s Eve, you always have to kiss some talcum … Continue reading

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Pantos Past

I have a chum who has loathed Christmas pantomimes ever since childhood. Me? I quite enjoy a good one, and as long as all the traditional elements are there: cross-dressing, slapstick, slightly dated pop songs and a generous splash of … Continue reading

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Fancy Shirts

Openings, closings, launches: I’ll go to anything where there’s a chance of a few free canapes. And hopefully a glass of bubbly. Eagle-eyed readers will no doubt have often spotted me adorning the society pages of this journal, invariably sporting … Continue reading

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Christmas in Paradise

I once spent Christmas in the Bahamas, on an island called Eleuthera. Eleuthera is over a hundred miles long but never more than a mile or so wide. Its one main road runs along its entire length and at one … Continue reading

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Ralph’s weekly column returns to Bath Chronicle

I’m back, folks, and to quote Cassandra when his famous Daily Mail column was resumed after the war: ‘As I was saying when I was so rudely interrupted…’ A lot of water has passed under Pulteney Bridge since last I … Continue reading

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