Someone left my suite out in the rain

I was waiting for my new sofa to be delivered recently when I looked out the window and saw what appeared to be a suite sitting on the pavement outside. Oh no, I thought, my doorbell isn’t working and they’ve left my furniture out in the rain!

Further investigation revealed that some nice person had coincidentally dumped an unwanted Chesterfield and matching armchair on the pavement. And us not two hundred yards from the council refuse depot!

I’m usually pretty hot on reporting fly tipping and overflowing bins. It’s simply a question of typing in a postcode on the B&NES website. But my computer was up the creek, so I left it in the certainty that some other good citizen would do the deed, especially with all the recent talk about taking personal responsibility for the cleanliness of our city.

Not so. Days later my late night taxi swung round the corner and all but collided with the chair which some jolly japer had up-ended in the middle of the street. Next day the sofa had been thoughtfully adorned with several mail order catalogues, useful reading matter for anyone who cared to sit on its soaking wet upholstery. And as the days passed, others decided that a pile of old furniture makes an ideal dog’s toilet.

Whilst I’m prepared to believe that there are certain reprehensible individuals who think it’s acceptable to dump their unwanted accoutrements on the doorsteps of others, I’m amazed that not one of the local residents or hundreds of passers-by bothered to report it. When I finally phoned the council I was indeed the first person to contact them. Needless to say, the rubbish was removed within hours.

My new sofa did eventually arrive. It’s much bigger than it looked in the showroom and the delivery guys weren’t sure if would go through my door. What if it doesn’t fit, I asked, will you take it back to the shop? No mate, came the answer. We only deliver. If we can’t get it in, we’ll have to leave it outside and you’ll have to phone the collections department.

Luckily, with a lot of heaving and the removal of a light fitting they squeezed it in. Otherwise, I might have been done for fly tipping!

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