A bit annoying for the Bath Whingeing Festival, of which I am president. I mean, we committee members got invited to the opening celebrations at the Holburne Museum, but only because I spotted the lady who doles out the invitations on the number thirteen bus and gave her a jolly good wigging.

And pretty disappointing it was too. The trumpeters on the balcony were far too loud and probably woke half of Pulteney Street (it being after seven o’clock in the evening) And as for that extension! Yes, the green mottled ceramic flanges do echo the greenery of the trees in the pleasure gardens…but come winter when the branches are bare it’s going to look pretty silly. I mean, what’s wrong with beige?

What’s more, the free bar was far too generous. In fact a high up member of the cash-strapped Fringe Festival administration was spotted kneeling face down on the pavement towards the end of proceedings. A worse case of builder’s bum I have yet to see. I will be writing to my MP of course.

Priceless vases hanging on strings? Very risky with all that white wine about. And a goat with three legs? My dears, it has to be seen to be believed. The world of museums has gone mad.

Better to have gone to the week’s other opening, that of the Natural Theatre’s new youth studio. Chateau Cash and Carry being the order of the day, and strictly one glass each owing to the Arts Council cuts. And no sign of the Arts Council themselves. Afraid to run the gauntlet of the Widcombe Angry Brigade? Or not enough Veuve Clicquot on tap? The latter I fear!

But if, heaven forbid, you are not sufficiently nobby to have been invited to either of these salubrious occasions (you obviously don’t use the number thirteen bus enough) , then you can view the Naturals new studio from the safety of a seat in the audience for Mr John Christopher Wood’s evening of recitations entitled The Naked Truth! on Thursday and Friday of this week. Though I have say, despite the somewhat risqué publicity shots, Mr Wood doesn’t actually remove his clothes.

Which may be a disappointment to some but a blessed relief to others.

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