Are you one of the dedicated followers of that cult Danish thriller The Killing on television? I started so I feel bound to finish, as it were. Besides, I like the feeling of being in a cult. But it’s becoming increasingly hard to tell what’s going on. Not because of the convoluted plot or the way suspicion falls on a new possible perpetrator with a difficult name every week or the fact that it’s in Danish. It just so flipping dark all the time!

Meetings in darkened rooms, in the back of dingy cars, under shadowy bridges or in the back corridors of a town hall that seems to be in the middle of a particularly stringent economy drive. Unless someone’s stealing all the light bulbs.

Nobody ever goes home. If there’s a chance of following up one more clue before turning in, our heroine will do so. In the pitch dark. Don’t Danish police ever work in the daytime? This week she decided instead of going home for a well-earned kip she had to go and search a furniture warehouse. In the dark. As we all know, a feature of furniture warehouses at night is the plethora of trip hazards. And trip over she did, judging by the sound effects. I couldn’t actually see any of the action.

Mind you, the lift was working, so the electricity must have been on. But natch, she couldn’t find the light switch because she didn’t have a torch. Cue baddy who was sensible enough to have brought one and could therefore shoot his way out of trouble.

I watched the latest episode on I-Player, making it seem even more Nordicly foreboding. Something really important happened to a child in a basement (house not complete, so no lights, of course) At least I think so. For ages I stared intently at the horrid scary face lowering out of the gloom. Poor child I thought, imagine being trapped in a cellar with him! Then I realised I was actually looking at my own reflection in the black screen.

I thought about buying the book on which the series is based so I’d know what was happening, but (a) it will be in Danish and (b) it will most probably be printed with dark grey type on black paper.

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